Today was the first day I experienced negative emotions and doubts about this endeavor. I figured it would happen eventually. I mean, come on. No body was made strong enough to house all of the boundless enthusiasm I have experienced over the last few days. There were times when, if I concentrated hard enough, I think I might have been able to float about three inches off the ground.
Today I asked myself some of the following questions:
“What if nobody cares about this NEARLY as much as I do?”
“What if I make all of my media appearances and the trip never happens?”
“What about all of the other people that bike to distant places for more noble reasons? Don’t their efforts trump mine?”
“What if I make all of the arrangements, but no churches book me?
“What if we don’t secure enough long-term Funnies Extra advertisers for the paper to support itself and our home finances by next spring?”
‘What if my creativity and enthusiasm doesn’t, in fact, lead to greater opportunity, but instead puts the financial present and future of my family in great jeopardy?”
Although many of these concerns are real and must be addressed, foundationally I need to make sure this is a great idea, and I still think it is. Heather was asked by a friend last night why this is something that I would do and publicize. What’s the goal? What’s the motivation?
That is a great question. If I had to answer it succinctly, I would say because it sounds VERY fun and exciting.
Over and above that, why would anybody outside of my close friends and family watch a documentary about this?
My answer to that is based on some of the responses I’ve gotten from people as I’ve presented this idea to them over the last few days.
I have seen some people’s faces brighten up. The idea awakens something within them. I love that.
About a year ago, I spoke to a friend that worked with me. The company was offering buyouts to employees and I opted to leave. In discussing with me whether she should, too, I expressed that sometimes in life, people need to move around the furniture.
You know what I mean? You ever go to change the elements of a room in your house around? There are larger items that sometime are where there are simply because that’s what made the most sense for where you where at that point in your lives. Like, maybe the TV stand was against a certain wall so the sun wouldn’t glare off the screen. Maybe now you don’t even have the TV, because you’ve decided in the last 10 years that there are better things to do with your life.
So maybe you don’t even need to TV stand anymore.
I am self employed, have flexibility and need to boost my comedy career. The best and most inexpensive way I can think to do this right now is to generate my own buzz – something that will separate me from the hoards of other comics out there.
If, in the process, I can inspire others to think outside the box, determine what they might do with their limited years on Earth, then make a plan to see if it can happen, that would be very rewarding for me.
God is challenging me to trust Him more. This is VERY hard for me. I know he wants me to exercise wisdom by planning, but trust him along the way.
This is a context in which I wish for that to happen.